Attractions in Yangshuo, Guangxi Province, China  

Six Easy Steps to Open a Bar in Yangshuo

Step One: Location, Location, Location
The hot spot radiates out along the West Street. Some say that the closer you are to the West Street the better, but it’s actually not that important - at the rate things are going, soon it will all be bars! Find local residents willing to part with their ancestral homes, and make them an offer they can’t refuse. Get in good with the local neighborhood committee to keep that chai sign off your wall.

Step Two: Design
There are two basic design options. One we’ll call Au Naturel, the other Nouvelle Yangshuo. Au Naturel works best in small spaces - in fact the smaller the better. Collect as many curios as you possibly can, meaning ´antiques, ´ random photographs, art posters and anything with the slightest hint of Tibetan-ness about it, and then cram them into your space until there is little or no room for customers to sit. Do not paint, or even clean, your bar. Nouvelle Yangshuo generally features wooden tables and chairs (sofas belong strictly to Au Naturel), beer posters, and neon tube lighting. This last should be applied liberally to all contours of your bar.

Step Three: The Menu
The drink menus of Yangshuo bars are established according to strict standards - stray at your own risk. Should Liquan beer and standard cocktails seem limited, you may add unusual items such as wines or alcoholic teas, but be warned that standards exist for these items as well, and violators may suffer consequences. Pricing secret: a regular drink at twice the usual price will be far more attractive to customers. Trust us, it’s reverse psychology! Microwave popcorn is mandatory.

Step Four: Getting the Word Out
How you promote your bar will mostly depend on which design scheme you selected in Step Two. Those opting for Au Naturel should follow the appropriate pattern of advertisement, which involves installing no telephone, refusing to talk to anyone about your bar, and discouraging any customers whom you do not know personally. Anyone you hire as bartenders/assistants should be likewise sulky and disinclined to service. Nouvelle Yangshuo adherents should adopt the tried-and-true practice of employing girls in matching slinky dresses, and touts to stand in the street clapping and hooting at passers-by. Loud music is also necessary, preferably watered-down ´trip hop´ or nerve-jangling sino-techno, but be warned that following the Nouvelle Yangshuo model will result in an inevitable war of escalation, in which ever-louder music and ever-smaller dresses are required to attract the attention of customers.

Step Five: You’re in Business!
Spend time lounging on deck chairs outside your new joint shooting surly stares at passers-by. Or, better yet, get your staff to sleep on the tables during off-hours and look surprised when customers actually walk in. Put your bar’s soundtrack (see above) on repeat, for days at a time. Scatter outdoor seating sporadically around the front of the entrance to allow drinkers the chance for some al fresco lounging and a steady supply of car exhaust fumes. Pray for customers.

Step Six: Aftermath
When fashions change and West Street loses its prominence on the nightlife scene, as it inevitably must, choose one of two options: the first is to hold on to your bar as everyone else flees, and Yangshuo returns to being one of Yangshuo´s oldest neighborhoods, albeit minus most of its characteristic architecture. The locals will still need a drink, after all. The second is to abandon ship, the earlier the better, and to set up shop in Yangshuo´s next big bar district. To find out where that will be, just watch these pages!

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